Lessons Learned as a Mother
- That the love a mother feels for their children is simply different than any other kind of love. Its a primal feeling that can't be expressed with words. You know that thing that happens when you get between a mama bear and her cub? Yeah its a lot like that and so much more. There are things I have done the past 11 years for both kids that still surprise me.
- Two kids can be different, very different. . Abby is loud, Sam is quiet. While Sam can sit for hours doing one thing, Abby bores easily. While Abby is adventurous, Sam is cautious. While Sam is neat, Abby is messy. I could go on and on. They are both so different in many ways. I bought a lot of Sam clothes as a baby on clearance from Gymboree. I would than sell them on Ebay for a profit after he had out grown them. It was a sweet deal. Imagine my surprise when that wasn't even a possibility with Abby because she stained everything.
- That mother intuition is no myth. Many times the past 11 years I knew deep in inside (my gut) that something was wrong even when many others told me it was nothing. When Sam was 18 months old and still not really talking yet the doctor told me it was nothing to worry about that we would check on it in 6 months again. I knew something was wrong and refereed Sam myself to early intervention. Today at almost 11 years old Sam still qualifies for speech therapy at school so it wasn't nothing. When I thought Abby just needed glasses we went to Lens Crafters and she couldn't see the eye chart at all. I knew something wrong. The hair on the back of my neck was really standing up.It still took almost a month till a doctor agreed with us that something was wrong. A mom just knows sometime.
- Being a mom isn't always fun and games. I will admit I don't like being a mother at all sometimes. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. We all have those bad days. The commercials make it all seem like rainbows and flowers. I am far from a perfect mother. The magazines never talk about getting poop all over your arm when you are just calmly holding your baby. No one tells you what to do when your nonverbal 2 years old wants you to know something but just cries and cries because he can't talk. I don't recall reading what to do when your 9 year old daughter lies to you. What do you do when your two children end up fighting so bad it starts to look like hand to hand combat? Then it all gets better with a hug and a smile.
- Its ok to let them go. As they grew from little hatchlings to half-grown people there came a time I needed to take a safe step back. It is hard, they don't need you all the time anymore. The nights away. The fun without me. The growing independance. The kids are still at an age that I still get plenty of hugs but now Sam has out grown the kisses. They are growing up so up so quick
- Sometimes you can't fix everything. Last year Abby wasn't invited to a birthday party of a classmate . Someone who she thought was her close friend and people who this child didn't even play with was invited. She didn't understand what she did wrong. I can't fix the friendship issues for Abby. Maybe some parents are afraid of Abby and they think her cane is a weapon. Perhaps it was no issue at all. Abby is a friendly (though I have been told bossy too) , kind and giving friend. She has struggled a lot with oeople because she simply can't see their faces, She can't see the waves. She can't find them on the playground. All I can do is raise her to be kind to others and be herself.
- That nothing makes my day more than a handmade picture with that simple I love you Mom. A hug can keep me going for a whole day. I am the luckiest person in the world to get to be my children's mother.